Every Breath You Take Read online

  Lexie shook her head. As much as she wanted to wash off the smell of the morgue, scrub away the memory of the mutilated bodies, she couldn’t. Not until she found an outlet for her rage. She knew the place. She’d been there far too often in her young life. Master Wan had shown her the power of the leather punching bag. It could absorb any amount of anger or grief that she had. She’d shown it to her students. The young people whose biggest issue was not getting a new dress, or having a boyfriend ditch her, or not making the football team, learned that it was cathartic to hit a bag that couldn’t hit back.

  Unfortunately Lexie’s issues were bigger than her privileged students. She used the leather target to chase away the demons from her past. To strike out at the ugly men who’d taken advantage of a barely teenaged girl. The strip joints that allowed her to eat and gave her a place to sleep—for a price. The death of her beloved brother. And now, this.

  She forced herself to speak calmly, but couldn’t keep her voice from shaking.

  “I need to go to the dojo, Jake.”

  “Okay, honey. Let me get changed. I’ll join you.”

  Before she could refuse, he put up his hand.

  “Don’t worry, baby. I’m not crazy enough to spar with you tonight. No, I’ll let you beat the hell out of the bag, instead of me. But the bag is a good idea. I’m glad we have several in the dojo.”

  ~~~

  Jake stood in the back of the cavernous studio watching the woman he loved more than life attack the leather surrogate. He shared a troubled gaze with Master Wan. But neither of them attempted to stop her. They both knew that the only way Lexie could deal with the anger and grief swamping her was to beat it out of herself. After Anthony was killed, Jake and Master Wan encouraged her to use the inhuman target for her rage. Often she flayed at the bag for hours at a time. Only when she was about to collapse from fatigue did one of the men step in.

  Tonight, her strikes were vicious. Her warrior shrieks echoed throughout the studio. They bounced off the walls as violently as her hands and feet struck the unyielding bag. Lexie had already exchanged her gloves several times, the ripped rejects tossed aside in a growing pile. But now after an hour Jake saw that her kicks were getting less fierce. Her shoulders weren’t as rigid. Her shouts not as shrill. Jake started to go to her, but Master Wan shook his head.

  Lexie’s sensei and the only true father she’d ever had, murmured softly. “Jai Li’s body is wise, Jake. It will tell her when she’s had enough.”

  Jake sniffed, reminding himself that the wisest person in this room was the elderly man standing beside him. Years ago, Master Wan had saved Lexie’s sixteen-year-old brother Anthony from certain prison. The renowned grandmaster saw the promise in the fierce young boy and took him into his home and his life. After Anthony learned to focus his rage into the more acceptable MMA channels he joined the Army, quickly going through the ranks. His fighting skills put him in a class of his own. For the next five years Master Wan and Anthony tromped through the various levels of an uncaring social service system hunting for his young sister that he hadn’t seen since she was ten years old. Following the crumbs from one foster home to another Anthony finally found Lexie in a strip joint. Her sixteen-year-old body was just beginning to exhibit the extraordinary attributes that now made her the object of many men’s wet dreams. Forced to return to his mission in Afghanistan, Anthony turned his sister over to the person who’d saved him. Master Wan and Madam Juen took the young girl into their home. With his expert eye, Master Wan saw the talent beneath the angry druggie’s harsh exterior and turned the sullen teenager into a world class martial artist. He always laughed when he said the only student he’d had in forty years of teaching who was more talented than Anthony, was Lexie. Master Wan and his wife became the only real parents both Lexie and Anthony had. To say that Master Wan saved their lives was, if anything, an understatement.

  As if to underscore the older man’s wisdom, Lexie’s movements became erratic, less accomplished. She now began flailing at the bag. A couple of tries later she stumbled, staggering against the wall. Jake had to physically restrain himself from going to her. Then with a harsh cry that sounded more like a wild animal caught in a hunter’s vicious trap she fell against the wall and sunk to the floor. If Jake had thought that his heart couldn’t break, the sounds of her agonized sobs proved him wrong.

  In seconds Jake was at her side scooping her up in his strong arms. Jake marveled at how light, how fragile his fierce warrior was. He stopped at the doorway to allow Master Wan to place a kiss on her forehead. Holding her tight against his chest Jake strode to their quarters and locked the door behind him.

  Keeping her anchored in one strong, muscled arm Jake cranked on the water in the oversized garden tub. He tossed in several handfuls of aromatic herbs and emptied one of Lexie’s many bottles of fragrant potions into the surging water.

  He laughed softly.

  “I’m not sure what all this stuff is, Darlin’. You may smell weird for weeks. But don’t worry. We both will. Not a chance I’m going to let go of you tonight.”

  He stood her on the floor and yanked off her t-shirt and stretch pants. He forced himself to ignore her lacy bra and matching silk panties. No use telling his dick to behave. Jake had given up on that fruitless task long ago. From the moment he’d met Lexie, his dick had been her fiercest cheerleader. Incorrigible and unrepentant, it stood at attention at the mere thought of her.

  Quickly shucking off his jeans and t-shirt, Jake tested the temperature of the bubbling water with his wrist. Finding it hot, but just what they both needed, he carefully set her inside the spacious tub then climbed in beside her.

  For what seemed like hours, Lexie cried. When one flurry of tears ended, another started. Jake held her close murmuring soft comforting words. He washed her body from head to toe. He shampooed her hair using the hand held spray wand to massage her scalp. Scrubbing at her back, Jake gently kneaded the tense ridges. He ground his thumbs into the tight knots on her neck and along her spine. Little by little her sobs quieted and she gave in to his ministrations.

  After he’d added more hot water for the third time, he tipped up her chin looking for signs that she was ready to get out.

  “What do you think, Darlin’? I’m sure that hot water tank has about given its all. Are you ready to get out of here? I promise you, it’s only a few short steps to the bed and I’ll have you toasty warm in seconds. Besides as much as I love every square inch of you, you’re beginning to shrivel up. A little longer in this water and hell my dick may begin to resemble a prune. A large one, but a prune nevertheless.”

  Lexie’s lips curved in a tentative smile. She rubbed against his errant shaft and shook her head.

  “I don’t think you have to worry about that, Jake. He seems as unshriveled as ever. But, yes. I would love to lie in bed with you. As long as you promise not to let me go of me.”

  Jake snorted. “Fat chance of that. In case you’ve been wondering, that clanking sound you hear whenever you move four feet away from me is the invisible chain I’ve locked on your ankle.”

  “Hmm, I wondered what that was. I thought it was because whenever I’m away from you for more than an hour, I’m aching to be back in your arms.”

  Jake yanked a big fluffy towel off the shelf and stood her beside the tub. Kneeling in front of her he peered up at her, a sly grin on his face.

  “Stand still, baby. I need to inspect every inch of you for any sign of moisture.”

  She squealed when he dabbed the towel on one ticklish spot after another, occasionally giving the tender skin a quick pinch.

  “Just want to make sure I’m drying all of you,” he said as he carefully separated her legs and dried the sensitive skin on her inner thighs.

  He laughed when she shivered.

  “Damn, Darlin’, if I didn’t know that you’d just spent an hour in a hot bathtub, I’d think you might be cold.”

  When he laid her on the bed and crawled in beside her, Lexie clut
ched at his arm. Her whisper was harsh, frantic.

  “Don’t let me go Jake. Please. Hold me. Tight.”

  “Lexie, I haven’t stopped holding you since I first laid eyes on you. I’m not about to stop now.”

  “No, Jake, you don’t understand. I need you, bad. I need you to make love to me. Hard. I need to know that I’m human. That I’m worth loving. That there is some good in this world.”

  She dug her fingers into his back. The slight pain combined with the musky smell of her arousal shot his prick into high gear.

  Jake laid her on her back and crawled up over her.

  His voice was husky, hoarse with need.

  “I know you want me to make the pain go away. Chase it away with my strength. I’m not going to hurt you, Darlin’, because I can’t. But, Lexie, I am going to make love to you. Hard love, baby. Our kind of love.”

  He nudged her legs apart with his strong thighs. Grasping both her hands in one of his big ones he pressed them against the mattress above her head.

  He nudged the tip of his turgid staff against her moist entrance and gave a soft growl at her shuddering moan.

  “I need it too, Lexie. I need to be deep inside of you where it’s only you and me. Where no one or nothing can touch us or come between us.”

  He pressed his lips against the soft vulnerable place on her neck and bit down. At her fevered cry, he smiled.

  “Oh yeah, baby. Where it’s just us, Lexie. Just you and me.”

  Chapter 4

  “I’m sorry, Brady, Peter. I apologize for the terrible things I said to you yesterday.”

  Lexie glanced around the table at the men who were her best friends. At their demurrals, she shook her head.

  “No, I owe you an apology. I would apologize to Master Wan but I’ve said and done so many horrible things to him in the past that a long time ago he established a ‘no apology zone’ around himself.”

  The sunburst spray of lines around Master Wan’s eyes deepened. He gave a slight nod.

  “Jai Li is correct. She has a fierce temper and I have ‘occasionally’ been the object of her fury. But the powerful emotions that flow through her are responsible for so much good, I am willing to pay the price of her rage. Indeed, if everyone were as outraged as Jai Li is at the atrocities we are facing, we would overcome them more quickly.”

  Jake chuckled. “Yeah, God help anyone who gets in the way of this little spitfire. Fortunately we are big powerful men or someone might think that rattling sound you hear is us shaking in our boots before her fury.

  Lexie felt the heat rise up over her neck. She knew that Jake and Master Wan were covering for her, making excuses for the awful things she had said yesterday. The fact that all of the men were excusing her outrageous behavior made her feel still guiltier. She gazed at the table trying to regain her composure. Though Jake had held her throughout the night, she’d barely slept. She didn’t have to look in a mirror to know that she looked like hell. Dark smudges under her eyes told the tale of her hard night. When her rage had finally died, exhausted, her shame stepped in. These were the most honorable, most courageous men she knew and she’d called them cowards, murderers.

  At the scrape of a chair, she looked up to see Brady looming beside her. He reached down and pulled her out of her chair.

  “C’mere, you. Get that sexy little butt of yours out of the chair and come to Daddy. Just because the Big Guy got to hold you all night long doesn’t mean you don’t owe the rest of us a big bear hug.”

  Brady tipped up her chin and forced her to look into his emerald green eyes. Though they were sparkling with his usual teasing humor, Lexie didn’t miss the concern shadowing his gaze. His voice was soft.

  “Tell me, hotshot. Are you doing okay?”

  Lexie gave him a watery smile.

  “Yes, Brady, I am.”

  Resting her head against Brady’s strong shoulder, Lexie turned to take in the rest of the serious-looking men around the table and tried to reassure them.

  “All of you. I really am doing okay.”

  Brady twirled her around and nudged her back into the chair beside Jake.

  “I kinda believe you, Lexie. But I gotta tell you, the scene at the morgue pretty much wiped us all out. I’m sorry as hell you had to see it.”

  Lexie frowned. “You understand why I needed to, don’t you, Brady?”

  “Yeah, hotstuff, I do. We all do—now. As much as I hate that you were subjected to that nightmare, you needed to see the girls. It took the Big Guy taking over to make that clear.”

  Lexie nodded then looked over at Peter. She swallowed hard.

  “Peter, you and Dan haven’t been around me like Brady, and Jake and Master Wan have. I am so very sorry for the terrible things that I said to you. Please forgive me.”

  Peter raised a brow and a slight smile tugged at his lips.

  “Of course I forgive you. We were all understandably upset. And you’re right, Lexie. I haven’t had the ‘privilege’ of being the object of your outrage like these three men. But I agree with Master Wan. It is your passion, your intensity that is the driving force of this team. That said, I don’t envy the Colonel who has to somehow keep it—and you—leashed so that those fierce emotions can do the most good.”

  Lexie grimaced at the insinuation that Jake had to manage her like a disobedient puppy dog. She scowled at Peter and started to challenge his assertions. The words stuck in her throat when Jake winked at her and squeezed her knee. Thinking of some of the provocative tactics he used to leash her passion, her cheeks heated. Checking a moan, she harrumphed. Exacerbate them would be a better choice of words.

  Peter continued as if he hadn’t seen the silent provocative interchange zing between her and Jake.

  “Don’t misunderstand, Lexie. We all have positive and negative attributes. Your passion is both your strength and your weakness. By any standard, you would test your commander. And even though at some level we all envy him, we are grateful that someone as strong as Jake is commanding not only you but this entire team.”

  Lexie could have been insulted by Peter’s words, but she admitted to herself that he was on target. Jake was overbearing, arrogant, but he was a born leader. Even among these other powerful men he commanded the space around him and everyone in it. At six feet four inches of hard muscle, he had the lean body of a lifelong martial artist and the grace of one who mixed meditative practice into his fighting skills. But anyone who mistook his easy grin and charming Southern accent for softness soon regretted their mistake. Rather than weakness, his pleasant charming manner was the mask of a sleek powerful panther, ever on the prowl, ready to strike. With the swipe of one large paw, he could rip an enemy to shreds, or with a single command bring a cadre of tough men to heel.

  Brady grinned at Peter. “Damn straight, Councilman. You’ve got that right. Jake is the only one who has a fighting chance to keep Lexie in line. Hotshot would drive right over any one of the rest of us if we so much as tried. Hell, look at the tire tracks on my back if you need proof.”

  Lexie joined in the good-natured laughter that greeted Brady’s assertion. But he was right. Lexie had always been a ‘lone ranger.’ As helpless as she was to Jake’s erotic commands in their lovemaking, she fought like a hellcat against any limitations in her professional life. She viewed constraints as an effort to steal her independence. Unlike these military men she’d never been part of a team. And she didn’t want to be. She liked to work alone.

  In contrast, Jake not only was a team player, he was accustomed to leading the group. He liked being in charge, to having his orders obeyed. Lexie’s fiery independence challenged everything Jake believed about how to run a successful mission. He often said with a wry grin that if he’d spent his life “commanding” women like Lexie he would have foregone Special Forces and taken up rattlesnake wrestling.

  Given the dangerous issues they faced, Lexie’s go it alone attitude was problematic at best, life-threatening at worst. Plus, it was the one issue that
threatened the powerful love that she and Jake shared.

  After Lexie almost got herself and the rest of them killed by the Jopok, the Korean mafia, she and Jake had a ‘come to Jesus’ conversation. To her shock, Jake pulled back from his insistence that they get married. Up to that point, Lexie had been the one who resisted making a commitment. She was frightened when he agreed that they weren’t ready.

  It helped that he insisted that it wasn’t because he didn’t love her, but that they needed more time to work through the issue that was tearing them apart. Jake declared they both had some learning to do. She needed to learn that the only way they could confront their powerful enemies and have a chance of winning was if they worked as a team. A team commanded by him. He said that he’d earned that role in years of commanding missions as dangerous as the one they were facing now.

  But Jake conceded that he needed to reel in his overprotectiveness, to give Lexie room to flourish, to follow up on her remarkable strategic insights. Plus he needed to stifle the raging alpha male that roared up on its hind legs when another man came near her or when anyone was foolish enough to threaten her. Wrapped in each other’s arms Lexie agreed they had work to do. If they were to make their relationship a lifelong one, their trust needed to be as strong as their physical passion was fierce. It was a daunting task and one that reared its ugly head every damn day of the year.

  Jake broke through her reverie turning to the business at hand. His slight frown and rigid jaw confirmed the seriousness of their task.

  “Dan and I spoke to Police Commissioner Roberts, and Craig Spellman this morning. We briefed them on the murders of the girls. They were both appropriately horrified. The Commissioner wants a complete update on the crisis. He’s scheduled the meeting for tomorrow afternoon. Spellman, as head of the local branch of Immigration and Customs Enforcement, will represent Washington. I assume he’ll bring Paul Prentiss.”